Three Rs
Relaxation Response, Reframing, Radical Acceptance
+ Our Environment
The Relaxation Response
The value of relaxation in times of stress is huge.
During COVID-19 many of us, if not all of us, have a heightened vigilance about safety. It can be difficult to be relaxed when you could be worried about getting sick or making sure you stay far enough away from people to keep them comfortable.
There are many extra things on our minds because of that.
This is why it’s very important to take the time to feel safe when you are safe. When you are in your own space or outdoors or in your home or away from others or with people who you can be safely close to, do the things you have learned here to stimulate a calm response in your body and mind.
When you are safely distanced, wearing a mask, washing your hands regularly and complying with all safety measures, you are doing the things you need to do to be safe. Allow yourself to feel good about this.
Learn to counteract the psychological effects of stress and rewire our brains to be less protective.
The relaxation response is defined as your personal ability to encourage your body to release chemicals and brain signals that make your muscles and organs slow down and increase blood flow to the brain. The relaxation response is a physical state of deep relaxation.
The fight or flight stress response occurs naturally when we perceive that we are under excessive pressure, and it is designed to protect us from bodily harm. Our sympathetic nervous system becomes immediately engaged in creating a number of psychological changes including increased metabolism, blood pressure, heart and breathing rate, dilation of pupils, constriction of our blood vessels, all that work to enable us to fight or flee from a stressful or dangerous situation. Time in this state also makes it difficult to digest food, often adding to stress or pain associated with digestive issues.
The relaxation response is a helpful way to engage another part of our nervous system the relaxation part, our parasympathetic nervous system.
Engaging this system dampens down the fight or flight response and brings our autonomic nervous system into homeostasis (balance).
This allows our metabolism, heart rate, breathing rate, muscle tension and blood pressure to return to normal levels. This is also known as the rest and digest state.
Regular use of the relaxation response sets up our stress (and pain) protection system to be less protective. When your body is in a relaxed state this will helps our brains decide that we are in a state of safety.
The more we practice this the more easily our body will relax and the more often our nervous system will be calm.
As I said before please be aware that with all of the health protocols in place for COVID-19 safety we are all spending more time in a vigilant protective state of mind. Make a point of setting aside a little bit of time for yourself daily to unwind and to cultivate a safe comfortable relaxed state of mind and your body and your brain will thank you for it.
Radical Acceptance
Radical acceptance can be a powerful tool to help us accept what is.
This is a tool for coping with something we would like to change but for whatever reason can’t do so at the time.
Radical acceptance is wilfully accepting your circumstances regardless of whether you agree with them or appreciate them.
Just like I can accept that the walls may be painted pink even though I don’t really like that colour I can accept it and I can accept that right now we must be careful and distanced from each other for a while longer.
Just like I know that it may be raining and that’s not the kind of weather I want right now, I can accept it is raining, I can accept there are some things we cannot do until some restrictions are lifted.
Just like I can accept that my favourite coffee shop was closed this morning, I can accept that a person cut me off while driving even though it was upsetting.
This can be helpful for us to distract us from the negative emotion attached to upsetting things that we cannot change.
We are not always in control of the obstacles that come towards us in our life but we are the ones who are in control of our response to them.
Our interpretation of life events and our reaction to them is the key to a life of empowerment.
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Reframing
Reframing is a way of changing meaning by changing perspective.
Since our interpretation of life events and our reaction to them is the key to a life of empowerment, reframing can be of great help.
If someone cuts me off in traffic I can think they are an idiot or that they could cause an accident or or trying to anger me.
It’s possible that they are swerving because they just spilled hot coffee on their lap.
Maybe the person driving is racing to the hospital to see a sick relative.
It’s possible that the person who cut me off is a doctor racing to the operating room to save someone’s life.
It is really hard to tell exactly what is going on in that car.
Allowing yourself to imagine different scenarios can reframe an event so that it means something different to you. This can take the emotional charge away and allow you to be cool behind the wheel.
Of course good clear kind and respectful communication should be the norm.
If a customer or a coworker comes off as abrasive or angry you can experience it as an attack on you.
It’s possible that this person has had a particularly rough day and isn't at their best and doesn’t normally act like this.
It’s possible there has been a misunderstanding of some kind.
It’s possible that this person is clueless that they are coming off this way based on any number of reasons.
What we can control is our response to this interpretation of aggression.
It’s worth considering what might be going on for that other person to give us a new perspective.
COVID-19 restrictions are disrupting our live so much these days.
It’s easy and normal to be tired of this and there are clearly a lot of negative results, tragically many have lost their lives.
Even through this it is possible to look and notice some of the positive things that you have done in the last year or that you continue to do.
The pandemic is not permanent, it will end.
It’s possible that you can have a good time in the time that you have each day.
The sun does still shine, it still rains, we still work and play even though it’s in different ways.
Reframing by changing perspective can help change the channel on your thoughts and feelings.
Be mindful of your environment
Our environment for the sake of this discussion is everything around us, our work our transportation, our leisure activities and our home.
Listening to or watching the news to stay informed is probably a good idea but only as far as it’s manageable. Taking in upsetting information regularly, repetitively, may actually be harming you by feeding worries and anxieties. A good idea might be to take in a little bit of news so that you can stay up-to-date on important issues and stay safe without subjecting yourself to it too often.
Listening to heavy-metal, angry or busy music or watching scary horror flicks etc can ramp up your nervous system which is fine if that’s your thing.
Be aware of your body and take a break if you are stressed or anxious.
Nonstop digital content is at our fingertips all of the time.
Be aware that processing information constantly will use up our resources and can tire us out. Some people find that choosing to take in empowering media that aligns with who you want to be can be helpful.
Listen to nature sounds.
Researchers at University of Sussex medical school found that playing nature sounds effects the relaxation response of the nervous system. It’s as if the nature sounds help bring us to a place of ease.
There are so many ways we can make our environment better for our wellbeing.
Sometimes the habits that we have kept for years become outdated and no longer serve us, however we may keep them up as they are just part of our routine.
You can feel free to just let go of any old negative habits now.